help me to fix and improve the writting papers

Performance critique
August 12, 2020
Use of Force during an arrest
August 12, 2020

Please help me with grammar and idea improve and give the proper citation!

Should be five pages!

My writting with provide to you in below:

The center of my world

Undoubtedly, the animals which are supposed to be very far away from the metropolitan area are extremely close to us nowadays. Besides the zoo, the pet store street is the place with the most animals in the city where I lived in. The pet store street is very near to my house in Shanghai, China. There are at least thousands of people browse around this street every day. This pet store was there since I was in elementary school. The overall arrangement of this pet store street is similar with the Outlets Mall; there are a lot of small pet store shops inside this big region. Also, it has been divided to different districts for selling different types of pets. I went there almost every weekend since I know there. So, this place connects my favorite things in my childhood, and some special experience here expands my horizon about animals, these experiences triggers my interest in animals and inspired my academic enthusiasm. Because of the traffic volume and the enjoyment, I strongly suggest that it should account to be a scenic spot in Shanghai. And I believe that everyone who went to this pet store will love there.

I was destined to be there in the pet store street. This is because I have been involved with fishes from as long as I can remember and I am an animal lover since I was very young. According to my Mom, my grandma brought me a couple of goldfish from the pet store and kept them in the basin, when I was only two years old. Since I saw there were dusts on the base of the basin, I took another basin to change the water for the fish. And I always want to change the water for the fish, as long as I saw the dusts. I keep catch the fishes from one basin and put them to the other basin. As expected, the fish are dead by the reason that they do not adapt to the dramatic changes in water quality. Because of this, I was cried very sad at that day. Since then, my grandma always want to soothe my sadness by bought me some new fishes, but they all died because of my mistaken concern. My Mom told me that I treat the fishes as my toy, but I think she was wrong, I treat them as my friend, I did not meant to kill them, and I just want to give them a better environment to live. This is because I like them. Definitely, the things which really murder them are because of my ignorance about the expertise in fish farming.

When I am older, I start to go to catch the little fishes that habited in the field with my grandfather in my hometown. In order to catch fish, I was once fall into a riverside from the canal, and this accident causes me got a scar on the back side of my head. However, this experience did not affect my love for fishes. On the contrary, I caught some beautiful fishes form that river, and make them more precious for me. After that I always want to bring some original fishes form my hometown to Shanghai. Ever since I could read, I bought a lot of books from the bookstore which record a lot of ornamental fishes’ pictures and the breeding skills of each kind of fishes. A very incidental chance that allows me knew that pet store street which is near my home in Shanghai. Since then, there are a lot of precious experiences from that pet store, the first time I visit there with my parents; the experience I get my first fish tank form there, the experience I secretly visit there with my classmate after school and etc. Since, I was been raised in Shanghai rather than in my hometown. So, there were not that many opportunities to get the beautiful original fishes from my grandpa’s field. And this pet store continues my passion for study in fishes, since I could get so much more different fishes which I never saw before.

The pet store street triggers me to know more about the knowledge of fishes and the skills to farming the fishes. As I remembered, the first time I went to the Marine fish shop in that pet store was in spring, when I was only the third grade in elementary school. That day, I walked in to a Marine fish shop in that pet store which I never visited before. What I saw in the fish shop are many tanks filled with a lot of corals which just the same with what I had saw in the Ocean Park. There were a lot of gorgeous Marine animals, absolutely include “Nemo”, the clown fish, and “Doly”, the Blue Tang, from the Disney movie “Finding Nemo”. At that moment, I was fascinated by the magnificent sight in that fish shop. My head was fulfilled by one idea that I want to have my own Marine fish tank which includes a lot of real corals and Marine fishes.

Since I am an activist, I immediately asked a lot about the difference of the fresh water fish and the Marine fish from the boss. Obviously, the water is the biggest different, the fresh water and the salt water. So, I bought a bag of marine salt and a sea water hydrometer trying to make some seawater by myself. However, the bad habit of not doing preview before start struck me again. By the mistaken of using the sea water hydrometer, the salt ratio in the water is always not up to the standard. So, the fish died in the salt water I made. Even though there were a lot of difficulties in that period, after many of trials and the knowledge support for the boss and the article from the internet, I successfully knew how to make seawater correctly and kept marine fish. However, besides raising the marine fishes; raising the coral is another topic, since the coral is much more grindingly about the seawater quality. The boss of the marine fish shop reminded me that coral is fragile; any of the elements indexes of the seawater in the tank could make an irredeemable hurt to the coral. The advice from the boss and the articles posted by other fish lovers on the internet gave me a lot of knowledge support about raising the marine animals at that time. Again, I did a lot of trials before I successfully kept my first anemone. There does have many failed trials and sacrifices, but that experience still gave me a tremendous sense of accomplishment. And, these experiences really broadened my horizons in the field of keeping Marine animals.

My hobby definitely gives me an edge. I was the manager of the Bio-corner in my elementary school, middle school and high school. This is all because I know a lot about different animals. And almost all of my practical knowledge background is from that pet store street which has a lot of different kinds of pet shops have the puppies, kittens, tortoises, pet snakes, lizards, and etc. And it allows me to contact with those different animals which people would never saw in the city. And I had tried to raise those animals as well. I got my first Burmese tortoise and my first Sand Boa when I was in third grade in elementary school. Since then, my heart of raising animals was out of hand. And the animals were takes up almost all of my entertainment time.

When I was in sophomore year in high school, my biology teacher heard my experience from my father, and she offered an animal corner in the school that allows me to raise my reptiles in there. Also, I popularized a lot of knowledge about the reptiles or raising skills to my classmates and the students in other grades. I was really happy and proud of that, and it gave me more motivation to study in science. Meanwhile, this leads me to thought if I need to choose Biology as my major in the future. Although I did not chose to study biology as my major in the college, my hobby and my experiences gave me more motivation on study the chemistry and physics, which is really helpful in the way of getting success in my electrical engineering major.

In conclusion, that pet store street is the place where all my best memories and dreams from. It continues my dream from my childhood; it satisfied my long for and curiosity about the creatures in the world, gives more strong practical knowledge about raising animals; it gives me interest and perseverance in my study and life. Hence, it is so important for people to have their own center of world which could allows them to dreaming, experiencing, and studying.

 

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help me to fix and improve the writting papers was first posted on August 12, 2020 at 2:21 pm.
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